Tuesday, October 18, 2005

This just in: Blank Canvas Reports...

Because I like fun so much I have decided to mix it up a bit.  I have hired a "Deep Throat" (Mr. Blank Canvas) to report on the Niagara show. I think that having a different perspective...from someone not immersed in the Detroit scene and not an artist, hopefully will provide a virgin-like opinion of the arts.
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D'arts: When you walked into the opening, what was your initial reaction?

Blank Canvas: When I was 15, I went to what I thought was a cool opening at C-Pop. It was probably Shag or someone similarly terrible. When I was 15, I also though Birkenstock sandals were cool. I think this is all somehow related.  Anyway, I thought, "Wow, that 50 year old woman with the bad blond dye job really is wearing all black with leopard skin accents - crazy! I thought people like this only existed in parody. As for the art, christ, it was about as interesting as those place-mats they have at cheap chinese restaurants. I can spend a good 30 seconds looking at those, then the egg rolls come and I have better things to do. How do the Chinese get the food out so fast? Hey Italian restaurants, you could learn something from them!

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D'arts: Do you think that Niagara is representative of Detroit artists and the art scene?

Blank Canvas:  If by "Detroit artists" you mean "washed up old rockers" and "art scene" you mean "retirement home for the trying too hard," then yes.
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D'arts: Is Niagara just a clever marketing gimmick?

Blank Canvas: I wouldn't say clever.
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D'arts: If Niagara wanted to give you a painting for free would you take it?

Blank Canvas: If I needed to cover a hole in the wall to get back my security deposit and the store was out of spackle.
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D'arts: What is your opinion of the Detroit art scene? Do you think it is in trouble or do you think people complain too much?

Blank Canvas: I like a lot of young artists in Detroit, though they always seem to leave. But when the galleries here are full of shows like this, can you blame them?
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely HILARIOUS interview - although I gotta say its right on. As for Niagara or Viagra or whatever the hell her name is - Im sick of her poser-ass fake Niko BS, and her weak-ass Roy Lichtenstein rip offs.

If there is an air of ignorant desperation in the Detroit art scene - it whispers "niagara", with a foul odor on its baited breath. Give it up.

Heyo D'arts - btw, your notesfromaway link has an extra "/" in the link.

I will try like the dickens to be at your show but I may be working. Pooh....


7:58 PM  
Blogger art blogs are fun said...

coolio mr. funk...thanks for the comments!

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one that noticed that her "paintings" were NOT paintings at all?!
More like decoupage(ala the 70's I guess when "Debbie Harry ripped her off" according to her). More like Bored midwestern housewife whacked out on her kid's Ritalin arts and craft projects, hence decoupage(sp?)
Besides, I've tried to be nice to her and geez
What a f'n coked out Bitch! Drop the attitude, you're only "big in Detroit"!
Give it up, lady!

1:01 AM  
Blogger rosemary said...

I dunno. Some of them are really pretty, But and I mean but........ummmmm..."copied". I mean, look:
How many DIRECT rip offs can you find?



That is disheartening. Even more so that that the sheeeple are falling for it when there are truly great original artists out there unheard of. Is it all really razzle and dazzle that gets you somewhere?
I understand that inspiration comes from everywhere, but that's more than a little bit more than inspired.
"Niagara Detroit = Marketing scheme" pretty much sums it up.

11:15 PM  

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